.
Jun. 6th, 2008 | 02:37 pm
mood: 
opinionated
i like to look for things no one else catches. i hate the way drivers never look at the road in old movies.
life's funny. to a kid, time always drags. suddenly you're fifty. all that's left of your childhood fits in a rusty little box.
without you, today's emotions, would be the scurf of yesterdays.
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years review is well in order
Dec. 29th, 2007 | 11:48 pm
mood: 
cheerful
dear journal,
i don't know where to begin, really! how to rate another year, or how to realize what overpowered what - the good or the bad? i can safely say without any regrets i've probably never been so happy this year. i've done the things i've always wanted to, nothing out of the ordinary, but there's the thing. everything has been so simplistic and lovely. i've been the teenager (and still am) that i've always saw in the streets and thought about with jealousy; the girl that got the friends, the funny family, the lovely home and had all the jokes. i've been incredibly lucky this year. maybe i'll start with the good things and then moan on about the crappy shit towards the end. :)
2007 started off with some of my best friends; caoimhe, aisling, lucy & hannah. we all went up to caoimhe's house & unlike now so much craic was had without depending on alcohol and a free gaff. that's how we've all changed, we've all gotten older i suppose. it's good though. the only person there i'm not friends with anymore is hannah; we used to be so tight! it's kinda sad thinking about it really. we drifted apart when her & aisling stopped getting on well for whatever reasons. i remembering laughing so much i wanted to throw up that night, i'll never forget it. as insignificant as it may have been to the other people there, it gave me a complete rush of gratitude, towards life & love. :)
from then until around march time we continued being close friends with people we now refer to as 'fox and all'. we were all best friends from about first year, i loved them all so much. i still do i guess. i won't forget the memories we all had & how immature, annoying & stupid we all were. i don't think any summer will compare to summer 2006. it wasn't that we done anything spectacular, or that the weather was particularly nice that year.. it was just the first year i couldn't wait to get out of bed, go out & sit on a curb somewhere on the somerton road talking & laughing with the best people in the world at the time. it didn't matter if our hair wasn't straightened properly, or our cheeks were red from running or laughing, all that mattered was that we were all having an amazing summer. i love how i cringe laughing at the person i thought i was in love with, & how fucking stupid i was. seriously. LMAO.
one of the people i got closest to in that group was katz, formally known as stephen. we were such good friends, i don't actually remember telling him everything, or really important stuff. i just remember him being so easy to talk to & funny, & that we got on so well & were so alike. he's incredibly different now & we don't see eachother like ever.. he's so old now! his voice is all deep & he's gotten tall. we talk on MSN from time to time, but it really isn't the same. these are the shit changes you have to go through as a teenager & the ones that hurt the most. i've lost a good friend forever really. you can tell it'll never be the same, we're different people now. it's crap. he was the one i drifted away from first because he left the group for other people before i did.
i was best friends with michael fox too, until the summer actually. we sometimes went out for walks & stuff & had a laugh. then they all started being complete cunts & we all had a big fight. everything changed after that i guess. never went out with them after. pity innit?
in march i rekindled an old friendship with ben. we had known eachother years previously from a daycare thing we went to as children. as far as memory goes, we didn't get on very well. personalities clashed you see. he was quiet & i was loud & outgoing. ach well. we became (and still are, to my great pleasure) as close as close can get. :) we discovered our likenesses & that we shared the same interests. finally, someone to share my ideas & thoughts with, someone to talk about my music with, someone to replace the void stephen had left in me. not that he was a replacement for stephen, but he helped me get over our loss of friendship. i love ben to this day, i don't think that'll ever change. we have our fair share of arguments due to our big personalities these days, sometimes i just have enough of him. but then after we make up it's lovely & we're amazingly close again. :)
then one day in april me & aisling & hannah were in town & they were drunk (yes, you know what's coming ;]). we sat down at a bus stop & there were some people i recognised as ben's friends. i was highly moritfied at hannah & aisling's behavior aha. after we'd returned home i found some of their bebo's & commented them apologizing. :) how lovely am i? anyway, luckily i did, it started an amazing friendship with someone called ryan garland, or as they liked to call him, garly. *shudders* anyway, we started to like eachother, then i broke it off, then we hated eachother, then we were best friends, then we liked eachother & now we're going out! hahaha. 11 weeks today actually. it's flown in. so as you see, a fair bit of history going back there. so voila, we have boyfriend.
evidently, through ryan & ben i discovered other relationships; i became friends with ronan, luke, gavin, monica, kat, claire, laura & wee jim. they're all such lovely people & i get on really well with all of them. they're my new group of friends. :) they're older, but not necessarily more mature - no offence guys. ;] me & ronan are particularly good friends, as are me & monica. these are the people i spent my summer with, it was lovely. :) i spend every weekend with them, sometimes it's boring, but it's excellent when you have one amazing one.
how could i forget the girls that've stuck by me through all these transactions? aisling, caoimhe, lucy, aimee & megan; i owe you my life. yous are the funniest, nicest most special bunch of gals ever! i don't know where i'd be without you. probably depressed in a corner somewhere, still sporting my tartan hellbunny look. i think i'll write all about yous seperately, because you're all that class.
aisling gallagher is the smartest weegirl. academically & otherwise. she's always thinking, sometimes it amazes me how thought provoked you are. yet you're the most caring, funny person ever. you've been with me through the laughs & hardships. i love you :)
aimee lorimer is my best friend ever. we've been best friends since we came out of the womb basically ;) she's a complete geg all the time, it's incredible. after all the shit she's been through she still puts on the same cute wee smile & laughs. sometimes i think i'm too lucky. she's always there if i need to talk, or moan. she's the cutest girl ever & she knows how much i appreciate & love her. :D
caoimhe cregan is one hilarious cunt. seriously. we always have such a laugh together & i love her. we don't really talk about serious things all that much but i tell her what she needs & deserves to be told. she's easy to talk to & an amazing person. she's the kind of person that would smile at someone in the school corridor & then mutter 'she's such an ugly cunt'. she's brilliant.
megan mc cann is as funny as the rest of them, and obviously going to be the first one to lose her virginity in some strip club in chicago & then get married in the little white chapel. it's amazing how erotic she is yet she's the angelic sister in the house. ;) LMAO. she's so lovely & we always have a geg.
lucy turner is one special gal, me & her get on like a house on fiyaaa;) we have all these inside jokes that crack me up even when we're not around. they'll never get old. she seems shy but once you get to know her you discover she's completely mental. i love her to pieces & can talk to her about anything under the sun, especially the ladzzz. lovelove :)
so yes, back to me. some bad things have happened, i've lost contact with half of my family that i was closest to, yet gained a whole new set. which is great. i've seen my step grandparents more than my other ones that i used to see weekly. they didn't even ring me this year to say happy christmas; i had to ring them, & even then i could hear all the others laughing in the backround, forgetting about patsy & that she was ever part of the family. they kept hurriedly passing the phone around, they didn't want to talk to me. i was the annoying one that calls & they all make the throat cutting gestures to. i wanted to cry there & then, i was finally out of the picture.
i've written about my mum & stepdad. & i don't want to write about my dad. dad hasn't bothered with me much this year, as far as i remember. he's went off on his travels again & finally got the message. maybe now he'll leave us alone & realize we're much better off without him. my stepdad & mum are a bit rocky but i don't fancy writing about it. just hope that it'll all blow over by 2008.
much love journal,
patsy x
i don't know where to begin, really! how to rate another year, or how to realize what overpowered what - the good or the bad? i can safely say without any regrets i've probably never been so happy this year. i've done the things i've always wanted to, nothing out of the ordinary, but there's the thing. everything has been so simplistic and lovely. i've been the teenager (and still am) that i've always saw in the streets and thought about with jealousy; the girl that got the friends, the funny family, the lovely home and had all the jokes. i've been incredibly lucky this year. maybe i'll start with the good things and then moan on about the crappy shit towards the end. :)
2007 started off with some of my best friends; caoimhe, aisling, lucy & hannah. we all went up to caoimhe's house & unlike now so much craic was had without depending on alcohol and a free gaff. that's how we've all changed, we've all gotten older i suppose. it's good though. the only person there i'm not friends with anymore is hannah; we used to be so tight! it's kinda sad thinking about it really. we drifted apart when her & aisling stopped getting on well for whatever reasons. i remembering laughing so much i wanted to throw up that night, i'll never forget it. as insignificant as it may have been to the other people there, it gave me a complete rush of gratitude, towards life & love. :)
from then until around march time we continued being close friends with people we now refer to as 'fox and all'. we were all best friends from about first year, i loved them all so much. i still do i guess. i won't forget the memories we all had & how immature, annoying & stupid we all were. i don't think any summer will compare to summer 2006. it wasn't that we done anything spectacular, or that the weather was particularly nice that year.. it was just the first year i couldn't wait to get out of bed, go out & sit on a curb somewhere on the somerton road talking & laughing with the best people in the world at the time. it didn't matter if our hair wasn't straightened properly, or our cheeks were red from running or laughing, all that mattered was that we were all having an amazing summer. i love how i cringe laughing at the person i thought i was in love with, & how fucking stupid i was. seriously. LMAO.
one of the people i got closest to in that group was katz, formally known as stephen. we were such good friends, i don't actually remember telling him everything, or really important stuff. i just remember him being so easy to talk to & funny, & that we got on so well & were so alike. he's incredibly different now & we don't see eachother like ever.. he's so old now! his voice is all deep & he's gotten tall. we talk on MSN from time to time, but it really isn't the same. these are the shit changes you have to go through as a teenager & the ones that hurt the most. i've lost a good friend forever really. you can tell it'll never be the same, we're different people now. it's crap. he was the one i drifted away from first because he left the group for other people before i did.
i was best friends with michael fox too, until the summer actually. we sometimes went out for walks & stuff & had a laugh. then they all started being complete cunts & we all had a big fight. everything changed after that i guess. never went out with them after. pity innit?
in march i rekindled an old friendship with ben. we had known eachother years previously from a daycare thing we went to as children. as far as memory goes, we didn't get on very well. personalities clashed you see. he was quiet & i was loud & outgoing. ach well. we became (and still are, to my great pleasure) as close as close can get. :) we discovered our likenesses & that we shared the same interests. finally, someone to share my ideas & thoughts with, someone to talk about my music with, someone to replace the void stephen had left in me. not that he was a replacement for stephen, but he helped me get over our loss of friendship. i love ben to this day, i don't think that'll ever change. we have our fair share of arguments due to our big personalities these days, sometimes i just have enough of him. but then after we make up it's lovely & we're amazingly close again. :)
then one day in april me & aisling & hannah were in town & they were drunk (yes, you know what's coming ;]). we sat down at a bus stop & there were some people i recognised as ben's friends. i was highly moritfied at hannah & aisling's behavior aha. after we'd returned home i found some of their bebo's & commented them apologizing. :) how lovely am i? anyway, luckily i did, it started an amazing friendship with someone called ryan garland, or as they liked to call him, garly. *shudders* anyway, we started to like eachother, then i broke it off, then we hated eachother, then we were best friends, then we liked eachother & now we're going out! hahaha. 11 weeks today actually. it's flown in. so as you see, a fair bit of history going back there. so voila, we have boyfriend.
evidently, through ryan & ben i discovered other relationships; i became friends with ronan, luke, gavin, monica, kat, claire, laura & wee jim. they're all such lovely people & i get on really well with all of them. they're my new group of friends. :) they're older, but not necessarily more mature - no offence guys. ;] me & ronan are particularly good friends, as are me & monica. these are the people i spent my summer with, it was lovely. :) i spend every weekend with them, sometimes it's boring, but it's excellent when you have one amazing one.
how could i forget the girls that've stuck by me through all these transactions? aisling, caoimhe, lucy, aimee & megan; i owe you my life. yous are the funniest, nicest most special bunch of gals ever! i don't know where i'd be without you. probably depressed in a corner somewhere, still sporting my tartan hellbunny look. i think i'll write all about yous seperately, because you're all that class.
aisling gallagher is the smartest weegirl. academically & otherwise. she's always thinking, sometimes it amazes me how thought provoked you are. yet you're the most caring, funny person ever. you've been with me through the laughs & hardships. i love you :)
aimee lorimer is my best friend ever. we've been best friends since we came out of the womb basically ;) she's a complete geg all the time, it's incredible. after all the shit she's been through she still puts on the same cute wee smile & laughs. sometimes i think i'm too lucky. she's always there if i need to talk, or moan. she's the cutest girl ever & she knows how much i appreciate & love her. :D
caoimhe cregan is one hilarious cunt. seriously. we always have such a laugh together & i love her. we don't really talk about serious things all that much but i tell her what she needs & deserves to be told. she's easy to talk to & an amazing person. she's the kind of person that would smile at someone in the school corridor & then mutter 'she's such an ugly cunt'. she's brilliant.
megan mc cann is as funny as the rest of them, and obviously going to be the first one to lose her virginity in some strip club in chicago & then get married in the little white chapel. it's amazing how erotic she is yet she's the angelic sister in the house. ;) LMAO. she's so lovely & we always have a geg.
lucy turner is one special gal, me & her get on like a house on fiyaaa;) we have all these inside jokes that crack me up even when we're not around. they'll never get old. she seems shy but once you get to know her you discover she's completely mental. i love her to pieces & can talk to her about anything under the sun, especially the ladzzz. lovelove :)
so yes, back to me. some bad things have happened, i've lost contact with half of my family that i was closest to, yet gained a whole new set. which is great. i've seen my step grandparents more than my other ones that i used to see weekly. they didn't even ring me this year to say happy christmas; i had to ring them, & even then i could hear all the others laughing in the backround, forgetting about patsy & that she was ever part of the family. they kept hurriedly passing the phone around, they didn't want to talk to me. i was the annoying one that calls & they all make the throat cutting gestures to. i wanted to cry there & then, i was finally out of the picture.
i've written about my mum & stepdad. & i don't want to write about my dad. dad hasn't bothered with me much this year, as far as i remember. he's went off on his travels again & finally got the message. maybe now he'll leave us alone & realize we're much better off without him. my stepdad & mum are a bit rocky but i don't fancy writing about it. just hope that it'll all blow over by 2008.
much love journal,
patsy x
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first entry.
Sep. 30th, 2007 | 06:06 pm
location: my gaff, the laptop.
mood: happy
music: ghost - voxtrot
i'm patsy.
i lead a pretty interesting life, i have a brother called proinsias (an odd name i know), a cat called paris & i live with my mum & soon enough i will live with my soon-to-be stepdad, phil. i like it when i read books that make me laugh out loud in english class, like adrian mole & the weapons of mass destruction.
i like books that make me think, food for thought, like sophie's world! i like books in general really.
today i feel as though i should be revising for an assessment i have tomorrow, even though all my friends that are two years above me keep advising me not to work. i think that is a rather stupid thing to tell someone, even if i'm 2 years below them it doesn't mean i should sit & do nothing because my exam results don't determine as much as theirs. i think it's rather patronising actually! i secretly i ignore them every time they say it.
last night it was my mum's hen night.
we wore funny banners & badges & it was quite humiliating to see my mother, a very civilized woman, to be sucking crudely shaped chocolates. me & my friend aimee went, it was a lovely resturant really.
i think i enjoyed myself that little bit more mainly because of the tall, dark & handsome waiter than was serving us our food. i think tomorrow i'm going to write an entry about aimee, because she deserves one.
as we are only 14 we had to leave at half nine because they were going out after the dinner so we waited on aimee's mum outside a bar on the street. in the space of 5 minutes four men, age ranging from 18-25, chatted me & aimee up. it was rather scary. apparently it's a compliment to look older than your age but sometimes it's a pain in the arse.
i lead a pretty interesting life, i have a brother called proinsias (an odd name i know), a cat called paris & i live with my mum & soon enough i will live with my soon-to-be stepdad, phil. i like it when i read books that make me laugh out loud in english class, like adrian mole & the weapons of mass destruction.
i like books that make me think, food for thought, like sophie's world! i like books in general really.
today i feel as though i should be revising for an assessment i have tomorrow, even though all my friends that are two years above me keep advising me not to work. i think that is a rather stupid thing to tell someone, even if i'm 2 years below them it doesn't mean i should sit & do nothing because my exam results don't determine as much as theirs. i think it's rather patronising actually! i secretly i ignore them every time they say it.
last night it was my mum's hen night.
we wore funny banners & badges & it was quite humiliating to see my mother, a very civilized woman, to be sucking crudely shaped chocolates. me & my friend aimee went, it was a lovely resturant really.
i think i enjoyed myself that little bit more mainly because of the tall, dark & handsome waiter than was serving us our food. i think tomorrow i'm going to write an entry about aimee, because she deserves one.
as we are only 14 we had to leave at half nine because they were going out after the dinner so we waited on aimee's mum outside a bar on the street. in the space of 5 minutes four men, age ranging from 18-25, chatted me & aimee up. it was rather scary. apparently it's a compliment to look older than your age but sometimes it's a pain in the arse.